I Wanna Be Free
by A Young Volcano
Summary: Part 6 of the Ellie Stark Saga: Ellie is now an agent of SHIELD, with a whole new set of problems to deal. It's been two years since she's heard from her thunder buddy, and now he's suddenly appearing in London with no explanation as to why. On top of that, she's trying to control her powers. How will she handle all this shit? Well..she IS Ellie. She'll figure it out. Hopefully.
1. Chapter 1

**Okay. So, new fic. No one told me whether another sequel was okay, but frankly, I don't give a fuck. I'm posting this. Whether you guys read it or not, I don't really give a shit. I just want this out there. Okay? Okay. Here we go. Re-write of "The Dark World." Let's do this.**

 **DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything Marvel, or Norse mythology related. Duh. I'm not a Viking, or a Marvel executive. But I want to be.**

* * *

I groaned, but I heated myself up, and blasted the super soldier off of me. I stood up straight, and I knew my eyes were glowing. I could still feel the heat radiating in me.

Steve got up after a moment, and stared right back at me, but he looked disappointed. I was still letting my emotions control my powers, and I knew that that was the problem, but I still didn't have control over my anxiety, and the stress. But in my defense, he didn't either.

"I know what you're going to say, Steve, but frankly, I don't want to hear it."

"I was going to tell you that that was better." I frowned at him, and he shrugged, starting to unwrap his hands. He turned to go to the locker rooms, and I followed. "You utilized your anger, you didn't just get angry and fight back. You used your anger to your advantage."

"You're making no sense to me, spangles." He shot me a look, but I held up my hands in defense. "But I'm not complaining. At all." He smirked, and I grinned right back. "So, what now? Do you wanna go and get lunch? Maria just showed me this great place downtown. You'd love it." He raised an eyebrow at me as I pulled off my gloves. Dad and I designed them with the help of Bruce, and they were designed to help me harness my powers.

"Oh yeah? What kind of place is it?"

"It's a bar." He sighed, and I burst out laughing. Steve shot me a look, but then he smiled, and he nodded.

"There had better be some good burgers there, Ellie, or I'm holding you solely responsible for my attitude tomorrow." I laughed, and nodded, as we got to our respective lockers. Mine was on the opposite side of his, and I started to strip, grabbing a towel, but then my phone went off. It was the Men In Black theme, which only meant one thing.

"How's my favorite intern?" She started yelling at me as soon as I picked up, and I smiled, laughing at her.

 _"Ellie, we got some serious shit going on in London town! Like, the-same-readings-as New-Mexico shit!"_ I slowly stopped laughing, and frowned. I took the towel off, and started pulling on actual clothes. Steve caught a glimpse, and shot me a confused look. I turned back to the phone, putting it to my ear after I set it down to change.

"Gimme five hours. I'm on my way, but Darc, I'm calling in backup. S.H.I.E.L.D. works with me now, they'll do whatever I tell them."

 _"How do I know that?"_ I met Steve's eyes.

"I work alongside the Captain. They have no choice." I hung up, and then started grabbing things from my locker, throwing them in my duffel. "Can I get a raincheck on lunch?"

"What's going on?" I slammed my locker shut, and pulled on my boots, lacing them up.

"Darcy and Jane are getting readings like they did in New Mexico, and if I'm right, it has something to do with the Convergence."

"Do you want me to call Fury and let him know?" I stood up, and threw my duffel over my shoulder, putting my hair up in a messy bun.

"If you don't mind. I have to get on the jet as soon as I get to the city." I kissed his cheek, and pulled out my phone again, making arrangements with Pepper. "I'll see you when I get back...whenever that is!"

He didn't reply, and I realized why when I got in my car. I'd just stunned him to silence.

* * *

My eyebrows furrowed in confusion, when I got to the place Darcy told me to go. Police were everywhere, Darcy was talking to one of them, and some guy was with her. He was cute, and I'm assuming he was the guy she'd been hinting at throughout her various texts. She knew I would freak out on the flight over, so she distracted me, bless her heart. I got there a little late, but I got there in time.

I parked the car not too far away, and ran up to Darcy, yelling to her. She turned, and ran over to me, hugging me tight. I didn't smile, because I knew something was wrong. "What's with the cops? What, you couldn't wait to do illegal stuff _without_ me?"

"Of course not. And now, Jane's missing." My eyes went wide. I pulled away, and pulled out my phone, throwing up projections.

"Did she have her cellphone on her?" Darcy hummed a yes, since I wasn't looking at her. "I can probably track it, since I have all her information right here."

"Do you keep tabs on us?" I smiled. "That's totally creepy, but in the nicest way!" I laughed at her, and started to track Jane's cellphone. I frowned, though, when the map showed that she was only a few feet away from us.

"Darc?"

"Hm?" I turned to her, and then looked back at the map.

"This says Jane is in the building next to us." Darcy took the phone from my hand, and examined the map herself. She looked over to the building, and she gasped.

"JANE!" She dropped my phone, but I caught it, and shoved it back in my pocket. I ran over to Jane, too, and Darcy was already interrogating her. "Where the hell were you?!"

"Tell me you didn't call the police." Jane demanded, and then glanced at me. She paused, and grinned at me. "Ellie!" I smiled right back at her, hugging her.

"Hey, Jane."

"What else was I supposed to do?" Darcy asked, frustrated. I backed off, and watched them fight. It was pretty amusing, actually.

"Not call the police. You call the police, the Feds come, and when the Feds come, S.H.I.E.L.D. follows and Area 51's the place!" I bit my lip, and cleared my throat. Jane looked back at me. She was confused, but then she spotted the S.H.I.E.L.D. signia on my uniform, and sighed. "I'm sorry, Ellie, but-"

"I know, S.H.I.E.L.D.'s a pain in the ass. Trust me, I know. Everytime I try to sit down, and have a Lord of the Rings marathon with Steve to show him the greatness he missed, we get called on a mission. It's total bullshit, and he needs to see those movies so we can watch the last Hobbit movie together in theaters!" Darcy and Jane glanced at each other, and then back at me, but I didn't notice. "Now, though, S.H.I.E.L.D. is working with me. I'm sure I can convince some higher-ups to back off, but still keep track of things." They both shot me looks, but Jane's was the worst. "We have to, guys, don't look at me like that. We have to make sure New York doesn't happen again." They shared a look, but nodded. I looked at Jane. "So what happened to you?"

"Yeah, you were gone for, like, five hours." Jane gaped at Darcy, and I frowned again.

"What?" She muttered. I frowned further, as thunder rolled, and it started pouring down rain...but not on us. I could see rain falling down, as heavy as ever, but it wasn't raining on us.

I knew this. It had to be him. I looked around, and spotted him in all his godly glory off to the side, avoiding the authorities. I grabbed Jane's arm, and she turned to me, but then followed to where I was looking. Her eyes went wide, and she paused, before she went to him. The dry patch followed her, but another patch stayed with me. I frowned, but followed after she was right next to him, giving them a moment. I saw her slap him, and smiled to myself, because that's exactly what I would've done.

"Hey, Goldilocks!" Thor looked at me, and I pointed to the rain that wasn't falling on us. "You might want to cut that out." He glanced at the sky, and the rain stopped after he did. I smiled at him. "It's good to see you, Goldi." He grinned right back at me.

"Ellie Stark, I have missed you." He grabbed me in a hug, and I laughed, but squeezed back as best as I could. He had me in a death grip, so it was kind of hard. He dropped me to my feet, and I stumbled. I had to grab Darcy's shoulder so I wouldn't fall. "How are you coping?" I looked up at Thor, and I knew he was one of the few people in this universe that would understand what happened that day. I could trust him, I knew I could, but I didn't want to talk about this in front of Darcy and Jane. I couldn't.

"Pretty well. I'm working with the Captain and Natasha, as well as your friend the Son of Coul, so it's pretty good. How are you doing?" He smiled.

"Well." I nodded, and Jane turned to me and Darcy, shooting us both glares.

"We're in the middle of something."

"And I'm pretty sure we're getting arrested." Darcy stated. Jane told Thor to hold it, and headed over to the cops. She grabbed my arm, and tugged me with her. I frowned, and started to argue with her as she dragged me.

"What did I-"

"S.H.I.E.L.D. You're helping me get off scotch free." I rolled my eyes, but walked ahead of her, and went straight to the cop in charge.

"Excuse me." I smiled at him politely, as he turned to face me. "Hi, sorry. This is all just one big misunderstanding. See, this woman here, we thought she went missing, but she came back. And what this team is doing here, it's research for S.H.I.E.L.D." I held up my badge. "Do you think you could let this slide?" He shook his head, shooting me an irritated look.

"I can't. You're all trespassing, I'm going to have to arrest you." He reached out to grab Jane's arm, but something happened. Power erupted from her, and sent us all flying back. Jane landed flat, and Thor ran to her side, helping her up. He grabbed a hold of her, looked up at the sky, and a portal shot down.

My eyes went wide. I felt my hands go numb, as well as my feet, and my lungs stopped working like lungs. Darcy went to the center of the portal, and looked up at the sky as the portal closed.

"Holy _shit_. El, did you-" She stopped, and I looked her dead in the eyes, taking a deep breath. "You okay over there?" I realized that my hands felt like they were burning, and I looked down at them, cooling down.

"Yeah. Just peached." I never got to go to Asgard, and I fucking _sacrificed_ myself for that guy!

Assholes. Guys are _all_ assholes.

* * *

I was pacing with Darcy, and her boyfriend was sitting on the couch at Jane's mother's place. She had her phone in hand, and I was waiting for a call back from someone. Anyone. Seriously, anyone at all would've been great at that point.

"Did you-"

"Yes, I even called Steve, but he hasn't picked up. He's either sleeping for once, or he's on a mission without me, and Fury's pissed because I'm not there. Who knows, maybe he went on a date! That'd be cool." Darcy groaned, and flung herself onto the couch.

"Jane isn't calling back. Erik isn't calling back, even S.H.I.E.L.D. isn't calling back, and you work for them! I thought you said they would listen to you?" I rolled my eyes.

"I thought they would. Seems everyone's relieved that I'm taking a break, actually, which is weird. You would think they'd realize that I can't just step away from the job, the job follows me everywhere."

"What's S.H.I.E.L.D.?" The boyfriend asked, and I turned to him.

"If I told you, I'd have to shoot you. Sorry, intern." I looked back at my phone. "Wonder if my dad would-"

"Ellie, look at this." I turned to Darcy, and moved to stand behind the couch, watching the TV with them.

I should've known Erik would be more messed up than me. I should've been helping him, not working for S.H.I.E.L.D., but the thought hadn't even crossed my mind. Seeing these people, being around them, it made me realize that I wasn't getting my old life back, no matter how bad I wanted it. There was no going back, for any of us. Not after New York.


	2. Chapter 2

**All right, next chapter. This one's extremely short, but I didn't have much material to work with when it came to this movie. Trust me, I have something up my sleeve that'll make up for this short-and-shitiness.**

 **But seriously, guys. Reviews would be awesome. I can see that people like it because I get notified when you guys follow or fav, but if I knew what you guys liked about this, I could give you more of it. So yes, thank you for the follows, and the favorites, but reviews wouldn't be discouraged.**

 **DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything related to Marvel. I am not Kevin Feige or Stan Lee. I am an emotionally compromised teenager. That is all.**

* * *

The next morning, we went to the psychiatric hospital to collect Erik. The intern posed as his son, and signed the papers, gaining possession of Erik's things. The guard announced each item, which included his wallet, his keys, his giant ziploc bag of meds, and something Erik had been working on for the Convergence. I knew he would've been interested in that, no doubt about it.

"Erik?" Darcy called, but Erik didn't look up. He looked lost. "Erik!" He looked up finally, but it didn't register.

"Yes?" Darcy frowned at him, but announced herself.

"It's me, Darcy."

"Darcy...?" He trailed off, but Darcy waved, and smiled. Erik smiled right back, as the realization spilled across his face. "Darcy!" He moved forward, and wrapped her up in a hug. "So good to see you."

"Oh, I missed you, too." Erik looked up, and met my eyes. He paused, and looked scared, but I smiled at him.

"Hello, Doctor Selvig. You look well, despite the mind control." He frowned at me.

"Ellie. What are you doing here?" I shrugged.

"I couldn't really walk away." He frowned further, but let go of Darcy, and grabbed me in a hug. I rested my chin on his shoulder, patting his back. "And neither could you, apparently."

"How did you find me?"

"You were naked on the telly." The intern stated. I patted Erik's back once more, and then pulled away. He frowned at me.

"Are you stronger?" I grinned, but he looked suspicious. My strength had gotten the best of me, and he could tell. But I had to hide it. Even from my friends.

"Working with a super soldier and an assassin will do that to you." Erik sighed, looking at me in despair. He saw now that he wasn't alone, that he wasn't the only one who couldn't forget all about it. "We can talk later. We have to go right now, we have plenty to do." He nodded hastily.

"Right. Let's go, then."

We got out of there as fast as we could, and the intern was carrying all of Erik's belongings. Darcy was in the lead, with me and Erik right behind her, and the intern behind us.

"This is why I shouldn't be left in charge of things, I don't get paid enough. I don't get paid, period."

"That's why I'm here, Darcy. I deal with this shit on a regular basis." Darcy shuddered at the thought, and I smirked. "It's thrilling. Seriously, you should join in sometime. Tag along on a mission."

"No thanks. This is plenty."

The intern introduced himself to Erik, and complained about not getting paid, either. He asked if Erik was alright, as Erik dug through his bag of meds, taking some pills.

"I've had a god in my brain. I wouldn't recommend it." Erik stated simply. I had to bite back a laugh, but I thought of Loki, and shuddered involuntarily.

"Doctor Selvig, your equipment is beeping." I frowned, turning to Erik.

"It's happening sooner than I thought."

"The alignment?" Erik turned to me now, frowning the same as I had. "I've kept up. I have to, Fury put me in charge of this. The birds, are they an example of this?" Erik nodded, and we watched the murmuration as they flew through a portal. Darcy and I both screamed in unison, and everyone ducked, as the birds erupted from below us, flying back into the sky.

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!" Darcy screamed. I couldn't help but laugh at her, and smiled with Erik. "WHY ARE YOU TWO SMILING?!"

"There's nothing more reassuring than knowing that the world you live in is crazier than you are." Erik walked over to the trash can, and threw his meds out. I couldn't have been prouder. "Take me to Jane's lab."

* * *

We'd been working all afternoon. Erik had gotten a change of clothes, but he still sat in his underwear, claiming it helped him think. I suspected otherwise, but completely understood. If I could, I would've sat in my underwear, too.

Everyone excluding Erik looked up, as Jane and Thor walked through the door. My eyes went wide, when I saw what Jane was wearing. She'd been to Asgard with him, it was easy to tell. Darcy stood up, yelling at her as soon as she walked through the door.

"Jane!"

"Hey." Jane greeted back, tossing her coat aside. Thor stopped by the door, and I watched, as he hung Mjolnir up on the coat rack. I smiled at the gesture.

"You can't just leave like that, the whole world is going crazy! All the stuff we saw is spreading!" Darcy finally paused, as she realized what Jane was wearing. "Did you go to a party?"

"Erik?" Jane greeted, a smile spreading on her face. Erik stood up, and hugged her.

"Jane! Oh, how wonderful." He pulled away, and looked her over. "You've been to Asgard."

"Where are your pants?" Jane asked, and I answered.

"He said it helps him think. I would have done that, but these pants are hard to get on." Jane glanced between us both.

"I'm going to need everything you two have on this. All the work you've been doing on gravimetric anomalies, everything." I nodded, and got to work, along with Jane and Erik.

"Are you well, Erik?" Thor asked. Erik laughed, and I felt a pang of misery, at the thought of it. Of everything.

"You're brother's not coming, is he?" Thor paused, and a look of grief washed over him. I felt horrible.

"Loki is dead." I smacked Erik, when he let out a sigh of relief. Erik shot me a look, but I went up to Thor, and hugged him. I was glad, too, but that wasn't how to deal with it. Loki was still his brother.

"I'm sorry, Goldilocks." He hesitated, but hugged me back.

"As am I."


	3. Chapter 3

**So this is the final chapter for this fic. I told ya'll it was short, but the next one, if you guys are up for it, is SUPER long. Like, the longest fic I've written for Ellie. Ever. It's ridiculously long, but I'm pretty proud of it. I like how it turned out. And I like how this one turned out, too. It's short and sweet.**

 **The Thor fics have been stories where Ellie can escape from her life for a little while. I mean, she can't really escape it, but it's not like she's focused on heavily. The main focus is on the other characters. In these fics, she didn't have to be the hero, and I liked that about writing these movies. But now, I'm pretty sure I won't ring her back for Ragnarok, and there probably won't be any more Iron Man films, so that phase of her life has come to a close. It's bittersweet for me, because I loved writing the relationships Ellie first built when she was thrust into this life of superheroes and secret agencies, but I'm glad it ended on this note. And I'm glad I can take her on an entirely different ride.**

 **I hope you guys like this chapter, and liked the Thor and Iron Man fics I wrote. Because that's all that's going to happen with those franchises.**

 **DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything Marvel. I am not Erik Kri-shit, wrong fandom. Again. Fuck me.**

* * *

We had a plan figured out without a few hours. Jane gave us the rundown of the players, the game, etc. And then we went on to explain the plan.

"Malekith is going to fire the Aether at a spot where all the nine worlds are connecting." She glanced at me, as I spoke.

"Amplifying the weapon's impact. For each additional world, the power will increase exponentially. The effect would be universal." I had to swallow back the lump forming in my throat, as I said that. This was all too familiar, and I didn't like it.

"The alignment is only temporary, he must be in exactly the right place at the right time." Thor said, but it didn't reassure me. As far as I could tell, no one was noticing, though. Good.

"But how do we know where that is?" Darcy asked, but Erik answered this question.

"We follow the directions." Erik got up, and grabbed a map, heading over to the table. "This has happened before, thousands of years ago. The Ancients were there to see it." He shoved everything off of the table, and everything broke. That was totally a move a crazy guy would make, and I had to force back a laugh. "All the great constructions: the Mayans, the Chinese, the Egyptians. They made use of the gravitational effects of the Convergence, and they left us a map." While he had been talking, he laid the map out flat, looking it over. He grabbed a ruler, and a red Sharpie, going over the map. He pinpointed the sight to be Greenwich.

"The walls between worlds will be almost non-existent. Physics will go ballistic. Increases and decreases in gravity, spatial extrusions, the very fabric of reality is going to be torn apart." Jane's words were freaking me out even more. My hands were starting to shake, and I clenched my fists, but dug into my pocket to get my phone. I realized as I did, though, that my hands were burning. I bit my lip, as Thor held out a hand, and Mjolnir flew into it.

"I have to call someone in." I muttered, stepping away.

"I better get my pants."

* * *

I managed to get some agents here to help, finally. Apparently Fury had gotten my message, and he'd sent them over as soon as he had. They listened to my every order. I had two teams of agents: one was set to evacuate the area, keep it clear of civilians. The other was to set up the instruments that were going to stop Malekith.

I worked with Jane, and Erik, but I kept my walkie on me at all times. Jane set up the system, preparing to send the Elves back where they had come from, or away from the scene, so Thor could stop Malekith. Basically, Jane sent Darcy and the intern away instead, along with a couple of Elves, and they were chased by them. I handed Erik a gun, and tracked Darcy and the intern down a couple streets over, and shot the Elves, stopping them from attacking Darcy and the intern. Darcy grinned at me, and ran over, kissing me right on the lips.

Jane did something with the system, and transported us back there, just as Darcy decided to kiss me.

"Darcy?" Jane asked, confused.

"Ellie?" Erik asked, even more confused. Darcy pulled away immediately. I smirked, forcing back a laugh.

"Jane!" She paused. "This isn't what it looks like!"

"Darcy couldn't take it anymore, she wants me. _Bad."_ Darcy shot me a glare. I grinned at her, and laughed. "Come on, let's go. We have some worlds to save, remember?"

With that, Jane, Erik and I took off back to the place where the Convergence was happening. I sent Darcy and the intern off with an agent, keeping them out of harm's way. I knew Jane and Erik were the only ones who could help, so I had to make sure Darcy and the intern stayed safe.

We were too late. The worlds were lining up, Thor wasn't anywhere to be seen, and Malekith was calling upon the power of the Aether. He was using that power against the worlds already, sending it through the portals. Jane took off, claiming we were out of time, and Erik tried to argue, but I ran after her. He followed.

We found Thor in the street, without Mjolnir, and we were yards away from the Convergence. The power of the Aether couldn't be penetrated by us, because it would kill us, so we couldn't get any closer. We'd collected the instruments, and watched as the Convergence reached its peak.

"Can those things stop him?" Thor asked. Erik nodded in response to his question, since he was the one holding them.

"Not from here, and we can't get close enough." This was one of those times that I wished I could go to Asgard, just so I could see how he did this shit, but Thor grabbed those instruments from Erik, and headed into the Convergence. We lost sight of him after that, and Jane lost the reading after as well.

A moment later, a reading came up on the monitor. Jane set off the system, and then another reading came up, as well as the third. When the third came up, the Aether cleared. We could see Thor again, and we saw him collapsed on the ground, as Malekith's ship was about to crush him. Jane ran to his side, and would have been crushed, too, but one of the portals was still open. The ship ended up crashing into the portal, and I felt the attack coming at me as it did.

Darcy and the intern showed back up. Jane held onto Thor. I stood there, shaking like a leaf, barely able to breath. I clenched my fists as tight as I could, taking in a deep breath. I felt a hand land on my shoulder, and I tensed. I was afraid that I was going to burn them, because I felt the heat coursing through me. My hands were already on the verge.

I hadn't thought anyone would see it, but Erik had noticed. I looked over my shoulder, and found him standing there, looking at me glumly.

"This isn't New York. And you're not just Ellie Stark anymore, agent." I nodded, but I couldn't stop. I started to hyperventilate, and I shook even harder, as the flashbacks hit.

I heard Dad telling me not to go. I heard Steve, sounding like he was fighting not to yell at me, or break. I heard the explosion, I felt the air leave my lungs, and then-

"Ellie." I gasped, and grabbed the other hand that grabbed my shoulder, ready to twist it. I was already burning it, and I thought I would get yelled at, but I didn't. I frowned, looked up, and met stormy eyes that were centuries old, thousands and thousands of years old, but they were concerned for someone as unimportant as me. I blinked, and Thor just looked at me. "You do not have to forget, but do not let that fear control you." I swallowed back the lump in my throat, and nodded. I took a deep breath, and drew the heat back. Thor didn't let go until I did. "Take care, Iron Maiden." I was confused, because no one called me that at S.H.I.E.L.D., not anymore. And I was confused, because for some reason, I knew I was going to see him soon. This wasn't a total goodbye. I don't know how, but I knew. I had a sense that Thor would be given some time to himself, some time to stop worrying about the entirety of the universe. And he'd choose to spend that time here. On Earth. So I hesitated, but smiled at him, and hugged him. He slapped my back using his full strength now, and it didn't hurt a bit.

"Til the next time, Goldilocks. Til the next time."

* * *

"What the hell was that?" I frowned, and turned to Darcy, as I was packing up my things. I had to get out of there and get back to D.C., since Fury was sending me on another mission. Darcy was standing with her arms crossed, looking at me with concern. I bit my lip, and turned back to my packing, picking up one of the files I'd brought along with me. "E, look at me." I sighed, and turned to her, standing up. I crossed my own arms, and shrugged. She raised an eyebrow, but I knew I couldn't get out of this one. I had no choice.

"At first, I saw my therapist twice a week. Now, it's only once a month, and everyday, I have to make sure I take my meds, because if I don't, the simplest thing could set me off." She frowned at me, but it wasn't scrutinizing, or pitying. She was trying to understand. "I almost sliced my dad with a letter opener because of an attack. This anxiety, it's taken over my life, and now I have to work around it. I thought Extremis would help, but it doesn't help the anxiety, it only helped the depression. I'm not trying to kill myself anymore, but I still…" I paused briefly. "My brain is still jumbled. The memories still hit me." Darcy nodded slowly, and stepped forward.

"Did joining S.H.I.E.L.D. help? Or did it make the attacks come more often?" I bit my lip, and ran a hand through my hair.

"I can't sleep. When I sleep, I have nightmares, and when I have nightmares, they involve dying." I took a deep breath, and blinked, letting the salt water fill my eyes. "It's been two years, and I still can barely function without some form of help. It's pretty sad."

"Not as sad as this." I turned to Erik, and I felt even more guilt at what I'd confessed. He smiled sadly. "We're all a little messed up after New York. But you can't let those fears control you, like Thor said. _You_ have to take control of _them."_ I clenched my fists. I felt the burning inching into my fists, I could feel it in my veins, but I tried to simmer down.

"I've tried. I'm still trying, I've tried since it happened, and I still can't get control of it." His eyes grew pitying. I turned back to my bag, and tossed the last thing in there, zipping it up. "I have to go. Bye, guys." Someone stopped me, when I got to the door. I turned back, and Erik had stepped forward, looking at me with hard eyes.

"Don't stop trying." I swallowed back the lump in my throat, and nodded curtly. I turned back to the door, and whipped it open, shutting it gently behind me. I got down to the street, and climbed into the car, tossing my bag into the passenger's seat. I stared at the S.H.I.E.L.D. insignia, and felt the tears well up again, but I shook them away. I looked back down at my hands, and focused on my breathing, like Steve and Nat had taught me. I focused on calming down, and when I did, I grabbed the wheel, and I looked back at the insignia again.

S.H.I.E.L.D. was the only thing keeping me from falling apart. I hated it, but I had no choice. It was S.H.I.E.L.D. or self destruction, but...all I wanted was to be free again. I wasn't free, though, I'd never be free, because I made the decision to be stuck with these powers. I had to learn to control them, and live my life around them. I had to accept this responsibility.

But, hey. At least I didn't want to kill myself.


	4. AUTHOR'S NOTE:NEWS ABOUT ANOTHER SEQUEL!

**Hey guys! So, if you don't know, I have posted a sequel to this called** Do I Wanna Know? **, and it's my re-write of Winter Soldier. I hope it lives up to the beauty that is that movie, but let's face the facts. It probably won't. I love that movie so much, and this fic was so much fun to write. It's literally my baby, I've been working on this puppy for more than a year now and I am just so in love. I know that's horrible of me to say, but I am. I am so proud of this. And now, I hope you guys enjoy reading this as much as I loved working on it. Please let me know what you think!**

 **And also, thank you to all the favs and follows! I appreciate the effort you guys put into reading my stuff, because honestly, it's total shit in my mind, but I'm glad you guys enjoy it. I hope you keep going and read the next one! It's up now, right now, so please go read it. Please. Please please please. Thank you.**

 **-Mikaela3**


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